The other day I was out cranking it on the bike trail.
It wasn’t an epic ride—the 20 mile mark still manages to elude me—but I put in
a solid 13 miles over a couple of hours, decently impressive on an arm trike in
90-degree heat. And then I ran into Beth. You know, that Beth.
“Dave!” It was Beth Ulibarri, aka @MilesAndTrials,
aka Ironman Beth. She also happens to be a fellow active MSer, only with a bit
more emphasis on the “active” part. We all know of Beths, those absolute studs
in the MS world that defy the disease with an athletic prowess that impresses
even the pros (she has trained with our resident pro triathlete Kelly
Williamson).
I asked how her ride had been and if she had
logged a few miles that morning. “A few.” Like 90 in just under 5 hours. She
was training on her Felt B12 TT carbon fiber bike (while decked out in her
sponsored Klean kit) for the upcoming Ironman Lake Placid, a 2.4 mile swim, 112
mile bike and 26.2 mile run. (Update: She finished her fourth Ironman in 12:09 and set
a new PR! Daaamn.)
Now, I could have looked down at my Craig’s List clunky
trike with seven gears and felt jealousy. Or moped because on the best of days,
I was putting in a fraction of the miles Beth logs JUST TO GET WARMED UP. But
that’s a fool’s errand when you have an unpredictable disease like multiple sclerosis, one that
affects each person wildly differently.
It’s so tempting to compare yourself with
others—the healthy, the diseased, even the “old you.” Don’t dare fall into this
trap. Don’t compare yourself to Beth or, for that matter, to me. Do what you
can do. Today. And the next time out, if your goal is to improve, strive to do
it better. If it is to maintain, then attempt to match it. If it is to just try
to do something healthy, then try. With all due respect to Yoda, it’s okay to
just try.
Still bummed? Then remind yourself about Facebook.
You know, when you see the posts of friends who are eating THE BEST MEAL EVER
or doing THE COOLEST THING EVER. Sounds like they are having more fun than you,
awwwe, sad face. But remember, those same friends are not going to post about
the ungodly amount of diarrhea they got after that 5-star meal or that they
permanently lost 10 percent of their hearing because they were too close to the
stage when they got that high-five from Ke$ha (oh wait, she goes by just Kesha
now). They probably also got food poisoning after eating a hot dog at the
concert, had an unfortunate “accident” in the car on the drive home, and then
were so distracted that they got into a fender-bender. (Imagine exchanging
insurance information after that.)
28 comments:
Dave,
Tremendous post & VERY true.
I find I am comparing myself---to myself. And getting down because of it. How I used to be able to do pushups (not the ice cream kind). Or lunges. Or squats. And whatever they call those things where you lift & hike...eh, who knows.
Frustrating when one day you can do it...and the next day you can't.
That's what bothers me the most about MS.
Thanks MOS. And I believe you are thinking of kettlebells. A bit of trivia: Russians began using them in the 18th century to weigh crops. MSers began using them in the '80s to break toes.
Something to remind ourselves every single day!
Thanks Jo. We have to keep reminding ourselves...
Thankyou for this xx
I had someone tell me this past weekend that I should be an MS poster child...why? ...because I don't "Look like" I have MS? Please fellow MSers, don't compare yourself to me. I clean up good but it's what you don't see is where my MS battle is fought.... We all ride our miles the best we can each day and we can inspire each other to tack on an extra few steps with our weakened body or impaired mind! more power to each and everyone...MS stinks 😷 Thanks Dave! You inspire!
Wow, Dave! Brilliant post. I think I'll print it out and stick it on my wall! So true, but so easy to forget.
Dave,
I so appreciated your latest post about biking and not comparing yourself and what you are or can do to others! Everyone needs to hear and soak up that message whether or not they live with MS. You are a hero in your own right!
Sduzie, Cherie, you are both right, we all inspire. And Fran, make sure you do not print images. You don't want to stare at that mug any more than necessary.
So true. I like how you said to not compare to the "old you". Sometimes that is the hardest. 13 miles though...that's awesome!!
Shannon, as MOS pointed out, sometimes the "old you" might have been just yesterday. The variability of MS can sooo play with your brain. BTW, did 15 miles this past weekend!
Sometimes It's hard for me to make peace with the changes that living with MS brings. I so appreciate the encouraging post AND replies! I occasionally need to be reminded to not beat myself up, especially on M-eSsy days. I think comparing myself to the old me, or to others with MS is probably the worst thing I do to myself. It's just not helpful!
Boy, did I need your post....was just going thru one of those comparing crap periods..... Yeah, it really helps to hear this from you and others.....on a regular basis.....
M2NF, so right. All these comments remind us not to fall into the comparison trap, but if we do, we can climb back out. And Anon, bust out of that CCP!
I do find myself comparing to "what I used to do"...:( and no, it's not motivating, or constructive in any way. It's deflating for sure. Thanks for the reminder Dave! Things could always be worse for sure.
Rosie, as you can see, you've got plenty of company.
this is why i enjoy your posts for you tell it like it is and the fun that we still can have at our own pace and can enjoy it...thank you ...
Thanks Madeline! I have a whole lotta fun, even if my pace resembles that of a turtle (or on some days, a snail). As long as I don't morph into escargot, it's all good!
I needed this Dave!! I've had THREE injuries this summer on my weak side of my body and it really set me back in my workouts. A lot of crying and comparing myself to my old self. Starting to work back up to where I was but boy, did I need to read this. THANKS.
Thanks Dave I needed that. I ride a recumbent trike now. I was out riding last night and met the bike club I used to ride with as recently as 3 years ago. It was hard to see them riding their road bikes while mine hangs in the garage but after 39 years with M.S. I'm still out there riding. I need to change my focus to what I can still do rather than what I can't. Your blog will encourage me to do that.
Anon, I'm out on a ride this very moment taking a breather. 39 years? And I thought I had a few years. ;) Keep it up!
Great post! I'm an author and while all my friends have continued to publish while I took a MS brain vacation. Meanwhile, other friends have gone Indie and paid off their Silicon Valley homes.
But you're so right -- comparing gets me stuck. I may be slow, but I'll get there.
Wendy, feel better! And Kristin, it is always a pleasure to meet another writer. I'm starting on my novel THIS MONTH. Or so I say.
This is one of my worse habits - I am constantly comparing myself to others. My "favorite" is to compare myself, with my trike, to my husband, with his diamond frame. I am never fast enough. I try to stop doing it but its tough too. Keeps me from riding with friends or group rides as I am always afraid I wont be able to keep up, whether thats actually true or not.
Oh Marina, instead of comparing myself to other cyclists, I find I use them like rabbits and try to chase them down for sport. I never catch them, of course, except for yesterday. Got on their tales in a hurry--shocker--so I just pulled over and got a drink and wrote Anon (above).
Thanks for that imagery - I love it - I am going to pretend that they are all rabbits!
What a great post! I had to laugh when I read this. I tend to compare to my old self - I used to be a runner and had good upper body strength. Now, my exercise is all virtually indoors as I can't tolerate sun on my body (I am like a vampire), temps above about 75, and have to worry about whether my lower GI is going to betray me or not. I keep pushing any way I can! I ride the Peleton bike that was a gift for my husband. It lets me work hard, and my competitive side can come out as I look for females in my age range or a little younger to try and beat. I will say that there are days when I pass someone out running on a nice day I sometimes want to side swipe them as I miss that freedom!😂
Diane, I don't advocate violence against a fellow athlete. Unless they are winning, of course. ;)
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