The other day I was out cranking it on the bike trail. It wasn’t an epic ride—the 20 mile mark still manages to elude me—but I put in a solid 13 miles over a couple of hours, decently impressive on an arm trike in 90-degree heat. And then I ran into Beth. You know, that Beth.
“Dave!” It was Beth Ulibarri, aka @MilesAndTrials, aka Ironman Beth. She also happens to be a fellow active MSer, only with a bit more emphasis on the “active” part. We all know of Beths, those absolute studs in the MS world that defy the disease with an athletic prowess that impresses even the pros (she has trained with our resident pro triathlete Kelly Williamson).
I asked how her ride had been and if she had logged a few miles that morning. “A few.” Like 90 in just under 5 hours. She was training on her Felt B12 TT carbon fiber bike (while decked out in her sponsored Klean kit) for the upcoming Ironman Lake Placid, a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike and 26.2 mile run. (Update: She finished her fourth Ironman in 12:09 and set a new PR! Daaamn.)
Now, I could have looked down at my Craig’s List clunky trike with seven gears and felt jealousy. Or moped because on the best of days, I was putting in a fraction of the miles Beth logs JUST TO GET WARMED UP. But that’s a fool’s errand when you have an unpredictable disease like multiple sclerosis, one that affects each person wildly differently.
It’s so tempting to compare yourself with others—the healthy, the diseased, even the “old you.” Don’t dare fall into this trap. Don’t compare yourself to Beth or, for that matter, to me. Do what you can do. Today. And the next time out, if your goal is to improve, strive to do it better. If it is to maintain, then attempt to match it. If it is to just try to do something healthy, then try. With all due respect to Yoda, it’s okay to just try.
Still bummed? Then remind yourself about Facebook. You know, when you see the posts of friends who are eating THE BEST MEAL EVER or doing THE COOLEST THING EVER. Sounds like they are having more fun than you, awwwe, sad face. But remember, those same friends are not going to post about the ungodly amount of diarrhea they got after that 5-star meal or that they permanently lost 10 percent of their hearing because they were too close to the stage when they got that high-five from Ke$ha (oh wait, she goes by just Kesha now). They probably also got food poisoning after eating a hot dog at the concert, had an unfortunate “accident” in the car on the drive home, and then were so distracted that they got into a fender-bender. (Imagine exchanging insurance information after that.)
Tremendous post & VERY true.
I find I am comparing myself---to myself. And getting down because of it. How I used to be able to do pushups (not the ice cream kind). Or lunges. Or squats. And whatever they call those things where you lift & hike...eh, who knows.
Frustrating when one day you can do it...and the next day you can't.
That's what bothers me the most about MS.
I so appreciated your latest post about biking and not comparing yourself and what you are or can do to others! Everyone needs to hear and soak up that message whether or not they live with MS. You are a hero in your own right!
But you're so right -- comparing gets me stuck. I may be slow, but I'll get there.